Mom, are you ready to start the Quiz?
The Facekom Quiz!
Is it time for that again?
I have a few announcements to make first.
This better be good, Shana!
I want to talk about things that have turned 30.
Oh geez. Try to keep it down to a bare minimum, OK?
I will try to be fast, like that time I made up a list of imaginary singing groups and asked you to read them out loud–and Daddy was filming us and kept saying the camera was running out of tape….
Meaning you had to talk fast? You know what, Shana? I think you’ve finally flipped your lid! Oh yeah, I remember that! One of the “singing groups” you made up was “The Mrs. Yulmans”–your kindergarten teacher!
Mom, just try and pay attention, OK? So, in April 2017, “The Simpsons” turned 30! As some of you may know, they started out as a short feature on The Tracey Ullman Show, and the rest is history! See below:
Bart doesn’t look like himself.
That’s because its the Tracey Ullman Show, Mom! I know that the Tracey Ullman incarnations of the Simpsons were crudely drawn and their voices were different but did you ever stop to think that without the Tracy Ullman show, “The Simpsons” might never have ended up with their own show?
Also I just would like to point out something interesting about the Ullman “Simpsons” spots. Apparently, they were animated by the same people who would go on to animate “The Rugrats”–Arlene Klasky and Gabor Csupo.
More trivia that no one cares about!
Next, Michael Jackson’s “Bad” album turned 30 in September 2017.
If only Michael had stopped having plastic surgery here, he might have been able to “save face”.
Mom, that was lame. I know nothing will ever come close to the success of “Thriller” but I think Michael had a few good songs after “Thriller”: “Bad” being one of them.
If Marian, who answered one of our quizzes, is still here, she might appreciate this next announcement. The Bee Gees album “E.S.P.” turned 30 in September. True, it’s no “Saturday Night Fever”…
Really???? No kidding!
…but there are some post-“Fever” albums I love and this is one of them.
Here is “Backtafunk”, the B-side of “You Win Again”, which the radio stations wouldn’t play (the A-side, not “Backtafunk”) because according to them, the Bee Gees weren’t allowed to have another hit because they were too succuessful already or something.
It shoulda been the A-side!
“Backtafunk”! It shoulda been the A-side! Was that on “ESP”? I had no idea. Are we going to play it?
Now I know you’re going to think my next announcement is stupid…
Oh geez, here we go….
but it has to be said.
Are you sure?
It’s important. “The Brave Little Toaster”…
turned 30 this year.
Give me a break!
This is a very underrated movie!
If you say so….
I know you think it’s a “kids movie” …
Shana, it’s a movie about appliances!
It has deep meaning and heavy themes–abandonment, obsolescence.
OK, we’re going to have to take your word for it because I’ve got a really important birthday to announce before we start the quiz!
Whose birthday is it?
Oh right. Hey, I wanted to announce that! And P.S., Little Richard’s big hit, “Tutti Frutti”, was in “The Brave Little Toaster”!
I should have known!
Ladies and gentlemen, introducing the real king of Rock ‘n’ Roll, who turned 85 this month on December 5th, Little Richard from 1956 with his big hit, “Long Tall Sally”! Wait a minute… I thought “Tutti Frutti” was his big hit!
Everything he did was a big hit! Wait, Shana, before you play it, let me write out the second verse for our viewers, because it’s very hard to understand:
“Well, Long Tall Sally she’s, built for speed she’s got, everything that Uncle John needs, oh baby, yeah baby, ooooo baby, I’m having me some fun tonight….
Hit it, Richard!
Happy Birthday and many, many more! You’re the greatest! Always imitated but never duplicated! And now for The December Quiz!
Mom, who’s in the quiz this time?
Remember Wonder Woman?
The one who was attacked by chickpeas?
Yes, that Wonder Woman! Well, this is her husband.
I guess so….
Acute Case Questionnaire
Name: Wonder Man
Male or Female: Male
Height: 178 cm
Email Address: ****@gmail.com
- Describe the complaint or complaints.
Severe cold, body pain, heavy head, stuffy nose – mucous is not thick, but clear and runny, sneezing – or feel like I want to but don’t end up doing it (irritation inside my nose), sore throat – felt like a lump inside my throat when I woke up this morning but did some gargling and spat out some phlegm (mix of clear and thin but mostly thick and yellow) – feel better now. Blocked ears, hear a popping sound when I yawn. Had 99.5 fever all night and when I woke up this morning and it’s gone up to 101 now. Dark yellow colored urine. Not feeling hungry but thirsty from time to time. Feel a chill throughout my body from time to time.
My son is just recovering from a viral and maybe I got it from him.
No pain in my throat when I’m not doing anything but my voice has become gruff sounding and I feel some pain at the back of my throat when I talk too much or gulp down water (even warm water)
Droopy eyes, runny eyes on and off
- Location–where on your body is your complaint located?
Sitting up makes it easier for me to breathe, lying down on my back makes the front of my face feel heavy and nose stuffy. I went out in the cold (it was 42 F at the time with the wind-chill bringing it down to 38 F) but that did not make me feel any colder or make my cold worse. I keep trying to clear my throat and it makes me feel better, drinking something hot hurts while I gulp it down but makes my throat better for some time after that.
Heaviness in head, Headache with irritability, very tired, body pain, sneezing, stuffy nose, throat irritation otherwise and sore when I gulp down something.
Runny nose, clear water, lips are chapped, the front part of my face along my nose, temple, brow hurt whenever I cough or sneeze. My ears are blocked and hear them pop when I drop my jaw to yawn. Dark yellow urine. Spat out some thick yellow phlegm the moment I woke up in the morning, had a lot of coughing at that time. Coughing has reduced since then – I have coughed maybe 10 times an hour on an average for the past 6 hours. And sneezed the same number of times during this time. Running eyes on and off.
I’m tired, I feel weak, I feel the chills from time to time, my nose its stuffy, the entire front part of my face feels heavy and hurts, ears are blocked, feet are cold but head and neck are warm. I’m irritable.
- The mentals:
- What have you been saying?
Feel like sitting down because my head hurts if I lie down. Don’t feel like doing anything, maybe just sit down on the recliner and watch TV (which I very rarely do otherwise!)
- What are you doing?
- Describe your thirst and appetite–
Not feeling very hungry since I woke up but feeling thirsty on and off. I drink a lot of water on a usual day at work but don’t feel like doing that today – I just feel like sipping something warm/ peppery/ minty every now and then. Don’t feel like drinking cold water, I normally always drink water (16 oz cup) with about 4-5 ice cubes in it around 5 times a day on a typical work day. Don’t feel like today.
Feeling warm, feet are cold. Fever was 99.5 yesterday night before I went to bed, 101.5 F when I woke up and 100.5 right now (at 1415 EST)
Don’t have any body odor but breath smells bad/ stuffy. Don’t sweat much otherwise and not sweating now either.
Breath smells stuffy/ bad
- What is most striking, peculiar or identifying about your condition?
Stuffy nose, runs from time to time, throat irritation, heavy head (facial region along my nose through to the top of my head), blocked ears
- Is there a diagnosis?
- Describe your energy–
Tired, weak, a bit irritated
- What does your tongue look like? (color/coating/pattern, crack/s, shape, etc.)
Looks fine, bit of a white coating on it
- If you have a cough, please tell what it sounds like
It definitely makes my head hurt but my cough is loose and brings up a little bit of mucous into my mouth (mostly white, not very thick with a little bit of thick yellow mucous mixed in it)
- If you haven’t already said if you’re hotter or colder than usual, or if there’s an issue with your body temperature, like hot feet or cold feet, cold hands, shivering, etc., say it now.
Colder than usual, feel chills throughout my body maybe once every 30 min or when I pee.
OK, now it’s your turn! Write to me and tell me what remedy got Wonder Man back to work the next day! My email address is [email protected]. The answer will be in next month’s ezine.
Mom, you’re forgetting something!
It’s Hanukah! I don’t know if any of our readers know about Shari Lewis and Lambchop….
I’m just guessing….hmm….uh…no!
Shari was a famous puppeteer/comedian and television host. When I was little, she used to have a show on PBS called “Lambchop’s Play-Along”. I’ll tell you about her other PBS show next year since that will be turning 20 years old in January.
Anyway, this is from the 1995 Hanukah special. I remember I really loved the “potato latkes” song. Can we have potato latkes for dinner? Are we Jewish?
See you next year, everybody!
Don’t I get to say good-bye too? See you next year, with more announcements!
Elaine Lewis, D.Hom., C.Hom.
Elaine takes online cases! Write to her at [email protected]
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